Just Weeds in a Cup...

There has never seemed to be a better gift for a woman than colored weeds in a glass cup. Why is this? Sure, there's probably some 300-year-old tradition and whatnot, but is that really keeping the ritual alive? I argue that no; women don't care in the least about things that pleased their mothers and grandmothers, they like receiving flowers for another reason.

Maybe it's because women like to brag. Period. I'm not talking about the teenage victims of PMS obsessed with their COW (Crush of the Week) or latest date with the school's quarterback, I mean married women. Whether it's their kids or their shoes, complimenting ones self never gets old. However, a woman's greatest pride is her husband. Sadly, due to M.N.F. and the invention of X-Box, these men aren't much to brag about, except for perhaps his back right pocket where the wallet is stored. Although not on purpose, this is precisely where my argument will begin; near the butt of a lethargic father.

A man will not spend 20, 50, 90 dollars on a decoration to last no more than 2 weeks (this is why women decorate for holidays, but that's beside the point). Certain types of flowers are the single exception to this rule. A woman can't show off her husband's ability to down 4 liters of Pepsi in 6 minutes, but she CAN place the flowers in direct site of the front door for everyone to see. For fear of becoming the next topic of gossip, every member of the book club visiting the home will have to compliment the flowers in turn, thus sparking the rehearsed praise by the lucky recipient of the floral arrangement.

Although I've done my best to answer the original question, another one arises. It just isn't fair to the guy who has to spend all the money on a perishable plant. I'll address this issue in a further installment of my articles about the psychology of flowers.


-Jeff Lewis
References: http://flower-dictionary.com